Authenticity isn't a trend its a practice
Weekly Blog: Authenticity isn’t a trend it’s a practice.
I haven’t done this before, and I think I am overdue. I want to say thank you to everyone who is reading this. I haven’t done this before because I think it’s overdone and the wrong side of the cheesy cliché scale. I am here complaining about screaming into the void without acknowledging the people who are reading and following. I see the stats and all of you together would be a busy room indeed. I bet the conversation would be buzzing too.
Back, almost back in ‘nam, but not quite, I was convinced that writing about myself on the internet is okay, positive even, by people reading what I wrote; like you are now. I cannot separate out that social proof, that positive feedback from the process of building where I am today. I like where I am, I am in love with what I do (not just a person or things) and I am loving the process (although my enthusiasm has its ups and downs of course).
I am also an overthinker. Did I write too much last week, am I going to write too little, is using AI okay, am I a real creative, this poem is awful, I should delete myself from the internet completely and never be seen again, and so it goes, around in my head. Other days, this is the best thing ever, that poem was awesome, everything is awesome!
I am aware that putting anything on the internet is performative, it has an element that is seeking validation. Absolutely, I am after that social proof, I love that validation; I love the positive praise of others, I have called myself a “praise hound” for a reason. What I have learned, the hard way, is that the validation of others is not everything. It is certainly a thing, and it is a nice thing, but rather like a cake, no amount of fancy decoration will save it if the fruit filling is poor. External Validation is the fancy lettering, toppers and ribbons, nice, but not essential.
What gets mixed up with seeking approval and validation is connection. I can mistake approval or validation for that; they are not the same and being praised without connection leaves me empty. The thing is, if the validation is loud enough it can keep me busy enough to drown out the cries of loneliness. Just as being a goal chasing workaholic can numb the emotional pain, a crowded room of approval can numb the emptiness of disconnection.
This week I have worked on my website, put in a bio page about me, tinkering with visual elements and looking at what systems I can have to make updating and maintain an engaging website into the future. It is, like most things, a work in progress and one that I am still enjoying.
It has been an unremarkable week, which I like, no drama, a bit of the lurgy going around, the usual winter stuff. I like uneventful a lot, just as I am enjoying the get ready for Christmas. In previous years I haven’t really gotten into the Christmas feeling until about Christmas Eve. The massive commercialisation has gotten to me and grated; the pressure to consume making me sad. This year, I feel much more disconnected from that pressure. This might be because I don’t watch regular TV stuff, but it could just be that I am that step removed from regular goings on. I am aware of the news, but I don’t dive into the depressing world of the news cycle anymore. I am not the worlds most hope-filled individual and the news drains that last morsel.
With that, have a great week and Keep On, Keeping On. And once again, thank you so much for reading my rambles.
