Weekly Blog Christmas Cheer
It’s my penultimate blog of the year and like a lot of people Christmas dominates my view. I am saving my annual review for my final blog of 2025 next week, leaving this week in a little bit of limbo.
This is the first time that I feel the need to be a little strategic and not announce everything all at once. If it wasn’t obvious I write my blog in the week before its publication on a Wednesday (maybe even early Wednesday once or twice). I pause to reflect on the week and consider what is on my mind. I try, and usually fail, to keep notes on things I can think about. The downside is that far too often I sit down at the blog-face and my mind goes blank.
I have had difficulty nailing down what it is I want to do with my blog; do I simply give an account of what I have done? The downside of this is that, in terms of audience interest, I don’t do anything interesting. This is why I have never dabbled in YouTube and how I decided to pursue an honest reflective practice style approach. This way I can keep myself on the things I want to share while keeping things I (and others) want private, precisely that, private.
I have no desire to be a thought leader or role model. My aim is to connect on the level of shared experience that cuts through the lies that loneliness, depression, disability, chronic illness and neurodivergence tell us. We are not alone, we are not a burden, we do deserve to exist and fighting the harmful narratives that surround us is very much fighting the good fight. While at the same time not shying away from the realities of living life outside the “normal” that society force feeds us.
It’s important to me to say we are not the stories that are told about us, and to fight the internalisation of those narratives that seek to marginalise, disempower, dehumanise and cause suffering.
This week I didn’t take notes on what to write about, as I often do, I sat and stared at the blank word document. When I do this, I have a choice. I could focus on things like the increased pain levels, the tiredness, or other things I can’t change. The political climate around disability worries me to the point of keeping me awake. I think about chasing monetisation, not being self-employed (for the first time since 2003/4), being a burden, as well as questioning my self-worth. Throw in health worries and this is a potent negative cocktail.
I could, instead, choose the equally poisonous route of toxic positivity. Ultimately, I try to chart my course between both with optimistic realism. Right now, life is, as my old GP would say, going very well all things considered. She was right!
With Christmas looming I have a basket that is full of great problems to have, I am actively building my life and consciously making choices that are designed to building a positive sustainable future for me and those I care about around me. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, there are hits, stresses, knockbacks and worries. Life is not an Instagram reel or a curated grid. It’s gloriously messy and unpredictable. However, I am not the author of my own destruction anymore.
I hope that you will come with me through into 2026, my plans, my wins and my losses, the setbacks and the victories on my writer’s journey. Along the way I hope you feel empowered to share your stories and build your own bright futures.
Don’t forget my website lesliepoet.com is being changed and updated all the time!
BONUS
A Second Takes Forever
I’m lying here on the grass
Thinking of the time that’s past
Wondering how to make hurt rhyme
Taking up too much time
And a second feels like forever
Forever never comes inside my head
Like all the words I could have said
That would never made a shred of difference
It would have taken you to have conscience
And still a second feels like forever
Outside in the rain, people walking past
Inside, the time refuses to move so fast
It never heals; I want new memories,
Replace some of all those tragedies,
And this second it takes forever
Like the people walking past my door
I’ll pretend I’ve something more
Than the scars and pain you gave me
That no one ever sees
And this second takes forever
Because the thought won’t leave
A boat beached among the reeds
Perpetually struggling to leave
Eternally pulled back in, ever deeper now
In fear a second feels like forever
Sometimes I ask the stupid question
I don’t expect an answer, that’s my lesson
The cruelty deserved or not
So many times I took the shot
And those seconds felt like forever
And we go our separate ways
Not to care about the days
To stalk the lonely hours which you stole
Every Birthday that passes takes its toll
Each second of the day feels like forever
The birthday I never saw, the picture I never took
The days out and loving look
The first days of school or new teacher
Or watching the rain, weather never bleaker
I would cherish those seconds forever
Instead, we have new lives now
Gone is the hurt and the row
The peace here to heal
Soothing balm and a warm meal
Regrets unlike seconds last forever
