Weekly Blog: lesliepoet.com
Last week I said there were changes coming to poet towers, and I have kept my word: my personal website lesliepoet.com has launched.
I am excited by what is, for me, at least, a bold step. A website is an investment, not just of the money to start and maintain it, but of time and energy. I want it to me more than a simple static placeholder gathering internet dust. I want it to be active as a place where my creativity has a single home. Somewhere I have a degree of control over how my work is presented; as far as my host and ability allow.
However, this week is about more than the launch of my website; it is also about more than me launching on YouTube with AI generated videos based on my original poems. It is about more than me doing my very best to be consistent to posting across social media platforms.
This week is about visibility, which is not an easy step. I am actually terrified of becoming visible. It is easier for me to say where I am now than it is to say where I have come from.
I have been struggling with how to “publish” my story since the start of putting my poetry online. The struggle has been how will one person react, what will they do to ruin the life I am building, because, if they believe I have something worth breaking, they have, in the past tried to break it. “What if” has been the biggest barrier for me. I feel that I have to take that risk knowing, from the past, what could be ahead, and hope that everything will work out better than before. I have to hope my fears are unfounded
This is why my poetry carries trigger warnings for the themes of suicide, abuse, addiction, self-harm, substance use and violence. Poetry that is the story of the life I have lived, no names, no accusations, no finger pointing; simply the poetic expression of my lived experience.
I also want my poetry to expand beyond my past and into the future. I want to write about what has happened, what is happening, my hopes, my dreams and what I have been building over the last few years through my recovery from addiction and beyond. I have lived a few lives, I have been different people, I have existed, survived and thrived over the course of my life and I want my work to embrace the richness of that.
So, the launch of my website is a watershed moment for me, it is a stake in the ground that is not placed lightly. It is a decision rooted in my journey from disillusionment through to where I am today. It has been challenging taking action, learning, making plans and actually writing with a purpose and direction.
I had felt adrift for a long time, however, now I am full of ideas pulling in different directions, I am still indecisive over what my weekly blog should be about, I still have the urge to write listicles and chase shiny brand deals for shit I don’t need. This is exciting and motivating.
The last few weeks have also been sobering. I have been tired, I have been unwell, I have wanted to create and been hit by my own exhaustion preventing me. It hasn’t been one hundred percent full throttle motivation and I have had plenty of doubts. However, the biggest part of success is showing up, and persistence is one thing, I feel, I have been blessed with.
My website is my anchor in this personal project. It is live and I have more things planned for the future, until next week, keep on keeping on!
